So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize