I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i now understand why vodka
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