i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she peed on how many people?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
