PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
