I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can't put those talents on a resume
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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