I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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