She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Life is so much better after having sex.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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