I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
