i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Every concussion has its silver lining
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
