He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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