I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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