I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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