so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize