Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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