I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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