hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
