dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
