So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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