Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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