Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
