Moan for me like Helen Keller
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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