shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize