sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
