That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
