Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize