all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
