Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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