Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
