So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize