YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
