you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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