Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
