she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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