I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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