i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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