If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm getting married
To pizza
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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