check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
