Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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