What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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