So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
