My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
