dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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