I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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