How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
