A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
