You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
