my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize