happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
