using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
