Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
