I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
