Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize