I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
