There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
