whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
