and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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