you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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