Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
