Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
