If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
