he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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