Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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