i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
