Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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