is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
