Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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